Apologies for the complete lack of any news reporting the last three months - I knew things were getting bad when I started getting abusive emails from my boiler inspector accusing me of indolence. Can't upset him, so here's the latest...

Despite appearances (little seems to have happened on initial inspection) the railway is progressing. The earth-moving and levelling stage seems to consume a large amount of blood, sweat and beer for little obvious result but now, at last, I've waved goodbye to the last skip, bringing the total muck shifted to about twenty-five tons. I hit a few hard spots getting the engine shed floor up - in its previous life as a pigsty, the floor had been flagged with large stones which had to be broken up and levered out one at a time. Reason for all the effort is that the shed floor needs to be taken down about ten inches in level, to allow a traverser to run across it - the shed is ten feet long and wide enough to get three engines in, but there isn't enough room for any fancy pointwork inside.

The last skip (for now!) and entry to the engine shed - you can't see the missing floor.

During May I'm hoping to get the concrete broken up in the shed yard and relaid to a different level with the rail tramwayed in and a gully drain running down one side so that I can wash down there. The ground is now levelled right round to where the new lawnmower/carriage shed is destined to go, so the plan is to get the trackbed prepared round that far in readiness for the tracklaying team. I'll have the minidigger back in for a day sometime next month preparing for concreting the yard - at the same time, I should be able to take out the trench and get some stone rolled in.

Mr Gray the gardener is taking a keen interest in proceedings. He and Jayne have, with remarkably little protest, moved the rhubarb patch to allow the railway through - I think things may get tougher when I get round the far side and need a little more land than I first thought for the passing loop.

Mrs P's shallots, grown from Mr Gray's prize-winning stock (she tells me)

Out and about last month, I managed to work in a fleeting visit to Joe Nemeth's new railway at Cattle Country. They had opened the day before and, I suspect, much ale had been quaffed that night as, on the Sunday morning, the place made a morgue look lively. Sam and I had a wander around looking at the new trackwork and signalbox before "the staff" rolled up at about 11. As with his previous railway at Oldown, Joe makes a point of laying a very superior railway in world record time - not much more than three weeks in this case! As a result, however, the motive power department had got a little behind, with his big Pacific - Curwen's "Robin Hood" - still in the workshop. In the event, Bob Symes lent his beautiful little Burry Port Great Western 0-6-0 which is pretty enough to convert anybody to 10 1/4 inch gauge!

New ticket office, supplied and erected by "Buildings Bespoke"

Bob Symes' GWR 0-6-0

Work continues apace at the new railway which, I am sure, will surpass even the late-lamented Oldown Miniature Railway. If you're in the area, it's well worth a visit - check out Joe's website for the Berkeley Light Railway 

I get more questions about boilers than anything else in this business, whether it's testing, building, steel versus copper, maintenance - you name it, I've heard most of the myths, dreams and rumours! I have felt the need from time to time to commit some of my thoughts to the website, if only in the form of a boiler faq page (which would also give me a chance to evangelise on all the usual stuff - amateur boiler inspectors and steel boilers don't mix, don't poke sharp things down flue tubes and ignore anybody who tells you that a copper boiler on a large scale engine is a good idea). I'll get round to it one day.

However, last month a particularly unpleasant little boiler story came up (almost as nasty as the large scale traction engine that came in a couple of years ago with a very convincing, though completely forged, set of paperwork and certificates).

Our man, who shall remain nameless to spare his blushes (and protect his "investment", which he still needs to dispose of - more anon) fancied getting into live steam, in particular a locomotive - the larger the better. Since models of standard gauge prototypes in his chosen gauge ran out rather pricey, he was delighted when up pops just the right thing on eBay. Now he wasn't completely clueless and managed to look beyond the standard fuzzy pictures and "museum quality" nonsense that accompany most of the engines that are auctioned there. However, the facts as described were that this was a running engine with new boiler certificate. Now, he might have had a few misgivings, as the item was not available for viewing or, indeed, for collection. After the auction, it would be delivered to his door - no choice here, he either agreed to have it delivered or didn't get it. The week of the auction passed and, at the end, our friend emerged triumphant as the high bidder. As agreed, the seller arranged to have it "delivered" and it duly appeared in a van late one night. Our friend paid the driver, as agreed, and off goes the van.

Now you're probably ahead of me here, but yes, this is where it all starts to turn a bit unfortunate. There are several fittings missing from the boiler, which would have made testing very difficult. The certificate contains little information - simply a piece of paper, stating that the engine had been given a hydraulic test at 80psi. Same as the working pressure. Er, yes...

At this point, somewhat concerned our man telephones a few people, including me. Having told the story, it so happened that the seller was not unknown to me and, indeed, it was his name on the boiler certificate. After the new owner had described the delivery driver, amazingly that turned out to be the seller as well (or, possibly, his twin brother) working incognito.

What our man has ended up with is an engine with an elderly steel boiler with no provenance whatsoever and little chance of ever getting it onto a certificate (other than a dodgy DIY one, which is fine provided you never want to steam it). And a three thousand pound-shaped hole in his bank account.

Now I consider eBay a fine and wonderful institution, where all sorts of interesting things drift by on the current - I got a fine displacement lubricator for my portable engine when I first found out about it six years ago and have been amused and amazed by the things that have turned up since. But, when people start pulling stunts like this one, it is only a matter of time before somebody gets hurt. Our man was cautious enough to start asking questions before he lit a fire in this engine and in the end is only out of pocket rather than scalded. The next chap might not be so quite so clued up.

I've declared my axioms of steam-engine buying before but, for the little they're worth, I'll put them down again.

1. Museum quality engines are all in museums

2. If it hasn't got a boiler certificate the boiler's dead

3. If it has got a boiler certificate the boiler may well be dead (boilers fail in service, not on the mantelpiece. If they're being used, they're probably in ticket, at which point they become a dead engine with a current boiler certificate)

4. If you're not allowed to go and see an engine before buying, it's either nicked or in a lot of trouble

Caveat emptor, as they say.

I went out with father-in-law to the sale last week - it's always interesting having a grub through the bits and pieces. Plenty of people had come to see this pair of Fowler ploughing engines sold - too big for me, I rather like the Showmans tractor!

A very large field full of tractors!

Now that we're moved up into the wilderness of Lincolnshire, we have had to adjust to the ferocious wildlife on our very doorstep. Last week, I had visitors in when, with a great rush of wind, a wood pigeon came tearing down the path behind the house, closely pursued by something very quick. Before we had time to draw breath, the hawk was ripping the thing to shreds at our feet. By the time I'd got the camera, he was just about to take off with the meal clamped firmly in his talons - the pigeon looked like it weighed as much as he did (minus a couple of large mouthfuls his attacker had managed on the ground).

You have been warned, it's dangerous up here!

We went up to York over the half term - the Yorkshire Air Museum at Elvington (highly recommended) followed by the National Railway Museum (which I could happily visit weekly!). Whilst we were away, friend Anthony and family came up to look after the house and sort out some of the backlog in the workshop. Anthony is fairly seriously steam-affected - three inch Burrell, 8 ton Aveling, locomotives, you name it - and his daughter has little chance of escaping the same fate. By the time I'd got home she'd taken a bit of a shine to the little blue "Pride of Penryhn", having scaled down her ambition from the big Burrell Showmans (which she can actually stand up in).

And you're wondering how long that jumper stayed pink...

27th April 2005